I watched the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic tonight. It was quite cute. Of course, I read the book by Sophie Kinsella this past summer, and the movie in no way measured up to the book, but then again, when do movies ever measure up to the books? Never. Anyway, that was a side note. So I watched this movie with my friend Lauren tonight. She just completed her first quarter of graduate school. She is getting her Masters in Curriculum and Instruction with a concentration in Library Science. This was a tough first quarter, but she made it, and I am so proud of her. So we got together tonight for a chick flick and some pizza. We called it a night at about 9:30 since we are both teachers and have to get up early tomorrow morning. We joke all the time about how we are now "old," and all of our friends still go out and stay up late, and we're turning in at what we used to consider ridiculously early hours, haha! Now we can't function unless we're in bed by 10:30! How things have changed. ANYWAY, now I'm back home, and I can't get that movie out of my head. Basically the story is about a girl, Rebecca Bloomwood(charming name, isn't it?) who is out of college and is trying to get her feet under her in the "real world." She takes a journalism job for a magazine called Successful Savings, which is quite contrary to her real passion: shopping. Shopping uncontrollably. In fact, she has already accumulated $16,000 of debt. The movie is about her deciding to grow up, stop running from her creditors, take responsibility, and pay off her credit card loans, all the while finding her true self(and true love) along the way.
After discovering that he has been deceived about Rebecca's credit card debt, her boss(and true love) at the financial magazine asks her why she continues to shop, why she can't stop even though she knows it's wrong for her to spend money that she does not have. Rebecca Bloomwood tearfully and regretfully states: "Shopping gives me a good feeling. It makes me feel confident and happy. I feel that way for a while, and then that feeling is gone. And I have to go shopping again to make it come back." And you know, I recognized that feeling. Who doesn't? Maybe that's why I can't stop thinking about Rebecca Bloomwood, a young woman who constantly seeks more and more and never has enough, just an ever-increasing feeling of emptiness.
So many times I try to find my self-worth and self-confidence, my happiness and my peace from material possessions that will never satisfy, or from people who will eventually disappoint, or from activities or jobs that will change. The feeling of dissatisfaction just grows. Consequently, our pastor has been preaching a series of sermons over the past several weeks on the book of Ecclesiastes. I was reminded tonight of verses 10&11, 17 of chapter 2: "Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor, and this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works which my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled, and indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit in it... Therefore I hated life because all the work that was done under the sun was distressing to me, for all is vanity and grasping for the wind." That's how Rebecca Bloomwood was feeling towards the end of the story. That's how I feel sometimes, too. But, luckily for me, I have read the end of Ecclesiastes, and know where my hope lies. Verse 13 of chapter 12 says, "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all."
Nothing can give us, me, satisfaction, self-worth, confidence, joy, or peace like the Lord my God. He created me with desires and passions, but He did not intend for me to worship them, or for them to fill the space in my heart that only He can fill. He is my everything. He has to be my everything. There is no other way that I was created to survive, to thrive, to live the abundant life that He has planned. There are no substitutions.
At the end of the story, Rebecca Bloomwood discovered herself, she discovered how to have self-control and curb her spending habits, she discovered a man who she could love, and who loved her for who she was and not what she wore. I have discovered all those things, too, but I have one thing that she does not-- the knowledge that my God makes all of this possible, and that His love is more important than all those things I just mentioned-- and THAT makes all the difference between her story and mine.
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