Do you ever wish that you could see the whole picture? I hate putting puzzles together. I get so frustrated because I can't imagine what the finished product will look like. I'm always searching, searching, searching for the right piece that I can never seem to find because it has fallen on the floor, or is sitting under the box, or is turned upside down. 80% of the time I am looking for that stupid piece that is always hiding from me, and when I do finally find the piece that I thought I was looking for, it doesn't fit. Then the other 20% of the time I am trying to squash two jigsaw pieces together that obviously don't fit just because I spent so much time looking for it. And to top it all off, you never know if you're putting together a lake or a sky, a kitten or a cliff, a sunshine or a sunflower until you finish the thing two weeks later. I hate that! Needless to say, I try to avoid puzzles altogether as much as possible. However, I saw a random jigsaw puzzle piece the other day and was immediately reminded of my life. Jagged. Uneven. Incomplete. A little piece of color in a cardboard landscape. You can never tell with only one tiny piece of the puzzle, no matter what color it is or what design is on it, what the entire picture is going to be. You have to have all the pieces in all the right order to do that. The same principle applies to my life. I'm at the little piece called "senior year of college." If you look closely you can see imprinted "don't know what's going to happen next." Just a little piece of the whole picture of my life. That drives me crazy! Why couldn't I just have been presented with a miniature photo of the puzzle of my life so that I could see how to put it together? I wish at least that I would have been provided with the number of pieces that there are to this thing!
It is frustrating and scary not to know the future. It is frustrating and scary trying to put together random, jagged pieces that may or may not fit. It is frustrating and scary not being able to see the whole picture. But that's just the way it is. I know that there are some people reading this that think it's exciting not to know what comes next, like it's an adventure or something. I only wish that I could think that way. I feel like I'm riding on that roller coaster at Six Flags thats in the dark, you remember that one? It's fun, but I always wish that I could see what's coming. Anticipation and all that. I don't like all this in the dark stuff. I'm working on it, though. I'm working on the whole trust factor when it comes to my life. I know that I am in God's hands, that He has numbered my days, put my tears in His bottle, and planned my future; it's just that I can't see it. And the not seeing part makes me afraid. What if I make a mistake? What if God doesn't want the same things for me that I want? What if my dreams aren't going to come true? What if I'm missing a piece to the puzzle? What if the pieces don't fit? I would like to know if I'm putting together a kitten or a cliff, thank you very much!
One verse that has brought me consolation and even some peace is Psalm 37:23-24. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though the man may stumble, he will not fall completely, because the Lord holds him with His strong hands." I read that verse and am reminded that it's all going to be okay. I don't have to freak out. I don't have to stress. I don't have to worry about the future. Sufficient for today is the trouble thereof (Matt 6:34). I just have to be open and willing to follow the Lord's plan for me, even if I don't know what that plan is. If I make a mistake, I'm just going to stumble. The world will not end; my life will not be consumed; my puzzle can still be completed; I can start over. God is in control, as cliche as that sounds. I rest in that fact. God is in control.
9.14.2008
Putting Together the Puzzle of Life
Do you ever wish that you could see the whole picture? I hate putting puzzles together. I get so frustrated because I can't imagine what the finished product will look like. I'm always searching, searching, searching for the right piece that I can never seem to find because it has fallen on the floor, or is sitting under the box, or is turned upside down. 80% of the time I am looking for that stupid piece that is always hiding from me, and when I do finally find the piece that I thought I was looking for, it doesn't fit. Then the other 20% of the time I am trying to squash two jigsaw pieces together that obviously don't fit just because I spent so much time looking for it. And to top it all off, you never know if you're putting together a lake or a sky, a kitten or a cliff, a sunshine or a sunflower until you finish the thing two weeks later. I hate that! Needless to say, I try to avoid puzzles altogether as much as possible. However, I saw a random jigsaw puzzle piece the other day and was immediately reminded of my life. Jagged. Uneven. Incomplete. A little piece of color in a cardboard landscape. You can never tell with only one tiny piece of the puzzle, no matter what color it is or what design is on it, what the entire picture is going to be. You have to have all the pieces in all the right order to do that. The same principle applies to my life. I'm at the little piece called "senior year of college." If you look closely you can see imprinted "don't know what's going to happen next." Just a little piece of the whole picture of my life. That drives me crazy! Why couldn't I just have been presented with a miniature photo of the puzzle of my life so that I could see how to put it together? I wish at least that I would have been provided with the number of pieces that there are to this thing!
It is frustrating and scary not to know the future. It is frustrating and scary trying to put together random, jagged pieces that may or may not fit. It is frustrating and scary not being able to see the whole picture. But that's just the way it is. I know that there are some people reading this that think it's exciting not to know what comes next, like it's an adventure or something. I only wish that I could think that way. I feel like I'm riding on that roller coaster at Six Flags thats in the dark, you remember that one? It's fun, but I always wish that I could see what's coming. Anticipation and all that. I don't like all this in the dark stuff. I'm working on it, though. I'm working on the whole trust factor when it comes to my life. I know that I am in God's hands, that He has numbered my days, put my tears in His bottle, and planned my future; it's just that I can't see it. And the not seeing part makes me afraid. What if I make a mistake? What if God doesn't want the same things for me that I want? What if my dreams aren't going to come true? What if I'm missing a piece to the puzzle? What if the pieces don't fit? I would like to know if I'm putting together a kitten or a cliff, thank you very much!
One verse that has brought me consolation and even some peace is Psalm 37:23-24. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though the man may stumble, he will not fall completely, because the Lord holds him with His strong hands." I read that verse and am reminded that it's all going to be okay. I don't have to freak out. I don't have to stress. I don't have to worry about the future. Sufficient for today is the trouble thereof (Matt 6:34). I just have to be open and willing to follow the Lord's plan for me, even if I don't know what that plan is. If I make a mistake, I'm just going to stumble. The world will not end; my life will not be consumed; my puzzle can still be completed; I can start over. God is in control, as cliche as that sounds. I rest in that fact. God is in control.
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4 comments:
Hey Jana, it's Will, and the puzzle is a great metaphor for everything that you described. I went through so much of that last spring with graduation getting closer. The weight of the questions and the doubt. You will be alright. Even now some of the same thoughts still linger in me, the kind telling me that I should have received a letter full of instructions from God detailing every twist and turn, big and small. And plans, wow. Anyway, well written, but especially well expressed. Hang in there
When I was a little kid, I watched my dad play this puzzle/mystery computer game called "Myst." It was hopelessly beyond my ability to figure out, but I would sit in the room next to him, and we would sort through the puzzles together, drawing diagrams and maps and trying to remember who said what. We worked on it for weeks. Maybe even months. Even late into the night on evenings before school. But he let me stay up and think with him.
I was there for every moment of the game, and I experienced all the mystery and the excitement, but ultimately, it was my dad who solved the puzzles. Because I knew that the solutions weren't my responsibility I was able to cherish the simple thrill of the game. I knew that my dad would sort everything out in the end. Sure I might have put one or two pieces in the right place by myself--and his look of pride in those moments meant so much to me--but most of the time I was completely in the dark.
When we finally solved the last mystery, the game itself didn't seem to matter so much anymore. The important thing was the time I'd spent with my dad, watching him work and learning the nature of his mind.
I guess I could sum up what I'm saying here, but I think you get the picture :)
Jana,
You will always want to know how the puzzle looks. Even when you start to get a few pieces together and can make out the shape of something, there are always more pieces to add that may change that image. Life is a never-ending puzzle. Just because you accomplish certain goals in life (the career, marriage, a house, children...)doesn't mean the puzzle is finished. You will always wonder "what will happen next?". Keeping that trust in God is the cure for the anxiety of not knowing "which piece comes next?".
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Love,
Melissa
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