I had to put my dog to sleep yesterday. My beautiful, smart, affectionate, loyal dog that I've been able to hold and touch and see and hear for 12 years is now no longer where I can hold and touch and see and hear her. I know that it was the right thing to do, but it still doesn't make it hurt any less. I know that now she is no longer in any pain, but that still doesn't make my pain any less. I still want her. I still miss her.
I would sit outside and read, and she used to come jump in my lap and sit with me. I would drive up the driveway, and she would run through the woods barking and chasing off all the small animals. I would put her food out, and she would dance for me. I would walk from my car to the door, and she would touch her nose to the back of my calf so that I would turn around and pet her.
I can still see her sunbathing on her back in the back yard. I can still see her standing on her hind legs in front of our bay windows looking in. I can still see her sitting in front of the grill outside guarding the food. I can still see her sitting in the seat of the lawnmower and on the woodpile and on top of her kennel, always trying to get as high off the ground as possible. I can still hear her toenails clicking on the concrete outside. I can still hear her barking when I put her up in the kennel.
She will always be with me. I will never lose her. Although I can't physically touch her now, I can still feel her presence. Although I can't physically hear her now, her barks still echo. Although I can't physically see her now, her image is forever burned into my memory.
It was a beautiful fall day. My favorite season. She couldn't have picked a better time to go.
Sugar and Annie- once a part of our families, now a part of our hearts. We love you.
11.04.2008
I had to put my dog to sleep yesterday. My beautiful, smart, affectionate, loyal dog that I've been able to hold and touch and see and hear for 12 years is now no longer where I can hold and touch and see and hear her. I know that it was the right thing to do, but it still doesn't make it hurt any less. I know that now she is no longer in any pain, but that still doesn't make my pain any less. I still want her. I still miss her.
I would sit outside and read, and she used to come jump in my lap and sit with me. I would drive up the driveway, and she would run through the woods barking and chasing off all the small animals. I would put her food out, and she would dance for me. I would walk from my car to the door, and she would touch her nose to the back of my calf so that I would turn around and pet her.
I can still see her sunbathing on her back in the back yard. I can still see her standing on her hind legs in front of our bay windows looking in. I can still see her sitting in front of the grill outside guarding the food. I can still see her sitting in the seat of the lawnmower and on the woodpile and on top of her kennel, always trying to get as high off the ground as possible. I can still hear her toenails clicking on the concrete outside. I can still hear her barking when I put her up in the kennel.
She will always be with me. I will never lose her. Although I can't physically touch her now, I can still feel her presence. Although I can't physically hear her now, her barks still echo. Although I can't physically see her now, her image is forever burned into my memory.
It was a beautiful fall day. My favorite season. She couldn't have picked a better time to go.
Sugar and Annie- once a part of our families, now a part of our hearts. We love you.
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2 comments:
What a beautiful tribute. I'm glad you chose that photo - it so represents the essence of her personality.
I want you to know that being with her in her last moments was a very brave thing for you to do. Hard...yes, but also brave. I guess watching her every day the last two weeks had helped prepare me for the decision and the moment, but what I was not prepared for was the absence. You know...the nudge on the calf on the way to the door, looking out and not seeing her bowl of water on the carport, her bark to let me know someone had arrived at the house. I watched your dad walk across the yard tonight and through my tears I could still see her running ahead of him - you know...she always did have to be "first"! :)
It is beautiful here...the leaves are turning gold and red with some orange mixed in. There are leaves sprinkled on the ground that crunch when stepped on. I think of you every day. And though I know it is OUR favorite season, I can't help but believe it was hers too! Can't wait to see you Thanksgiving. We have much to be thankful for. Psalm 34:8 I love you!
Beautifully written! I know all too well the pain of losing a furry member of your family. We lost our Yorkie June 2007, and we still think of him, tell stories about him, and look at photos we have of him. Praying for the hearts in your family that are aching now.
We love you!
The Flores'
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